Monday 13 May 2013

run, fat girl, run (walk) run!

I love Myrtle's blue eggs
 Well, my #keepingitreal series on instagram went down a storm - who knew we all felt so unable to share the mess!! I won't be sharing any more (less risking my otherwise strong marriage!) but for one day only it was refreshing to see lots of other homes looking just like mine rather than lots of people enjoying their perfect life!
(Husband aside) I found it unbelievably liberating - but will be going back to photographing the pretty bits of my life from today! On a day to day basis it's that which keeps me sane.

Anyway - while I'm feeling frank (not literally) I thought I'd share another couple of my demons. Cleggy - I can hear you groan. Please don't worry - there will be no sharing of cellulite.

Here's the very brief background to my run.

I'm 42, 5ft tall and currently at my heaviest ever weight of 12 stone. I'm not proud. 
boy's room sign - available again in shop soon!
I have struggled with my weight (physically and emotionally) since I was about 13 and tried (literally) every single diet going. My husband 
(who appears to be getting MORE handsome by the year - how?!) and I are going to Venice in a couple of months time to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. 
A few years ago I wouldn't have seen 'a couple of months' as a problem - I would have set to on some (REALLY) extreme diet and lost a couple of stone!!!

It's taken me to my 40's to realise this isn't the way - and probably explains why I've been fat/thin/fat all my life.
blocks for Wilfy

Don't get me wrong, I'm not moaning here. Despite my protestations over the years about genetics/glands/contraception devices/the fact that my bosom alone weighs about 3 stone I know the main reason I am overweight is because I bloody love my food. LO♥E it. I love everything about it from the planning to the making to the socialising. I also know that I am lucky to be well and healthy. If my only worry is that I'm over weight then I'm extremely fortunate.

The one thing I have never tried is proper exercise (if anyone fancies a fitness DVD  let me know - I have them all. Literally)

a poncho in the making (for meeee!)
So, back to Venice. Accepting that 2 months is in fact a very short time I've decided to set myself a very rough goal of losing a stone (I need something to work towards) and much more than that I would like to feel better. Recently my hip has started to ache when I get up or walk a long distance - this scares me.

A finished poncho (for Mabel)


I have always said I would love to run. The big thing (s) getting in my way have been the puppies. They just can't be restrained - no matter how big the bra. But this time I did some proper research. I don't mean scientific - I sought out reviews of from ladies with MUCH bigger boobs than mine and bought the bra they said worked.
(it's called Enell (Elma? ha ha) and is from 

...or as Cleggy called it 'let's bounce'. Reckon that's a whole different website!!)
It's not easy to physically get the bugger on, at least not with your dignity intact, and I'm not sure where my boobage actually went - but they don't move when in it. LITERALLY!
(I did find some of it when I tried to apply some deodorant but couldn't find my arm pit for boob! Too much info?? sorry)

another poncho in the making - my favourite colours, navy and pink
I also did a bit of research on the App running programme thing and decided upon the original 'couch to 5K'. A couple of people also recommended alternatives but I knew that if I looked into it again (with a coffee and a biscuit) I'd never get started.

I asked Cleggy yesterday if  he would come to the park with me lest I faint on my first attempt (long story) and his reply 'what...the local park'?
Yep - that's where I went ALONE today! 

The app is a 9 week programme where you basically do a mixture of jogging and walking (a minute or so at a time) three times a week, which gradually builds up the running. There are lots of versions of it and an NHS one - they all look much of a muchness (feel free to comment with your own view on this - it makes me laugh out loud to think there might ensue a discussion on RUNNING on my fluffy blog!!!)

Did I complete the first workout? Yes I did
Did I think at a one point I was dying? yep
Did I think my (proper) trainers were squeaking? Yes I did. It was my bloody chest!
Did one of the local dogs look up at each squeak like I was communicating with him? yep
Did a dog nearly wee on my lovely water bottle placed at the base of a tree? yep (thank you kindly owner - with hindsight it was a stupid place to leave ones bottle)
Did I meet anyone I know? No. Thank goodness 
Did anyone laugh at me, fat girl almost running? No
(but they may have giggled behind my back at the large pair of knockers protruding from my shoulder blades)
first girl blocks I've made in ages!

I'm not going to do a weekly report (or anything that publicly sets myself up for failure!) but I might just add a one liner at the bottom of my infrequent blog posts. 

There;s bound to be someone out there who is currently procrastinating and might need to see how I get on

Couldn't do a post without some pretty photos. Many more makes to show soon.
fee x
PS the phone speaks to you - as in tells you when to move from a walk to a jog. I couldn't hear the annoying woman (over my wheezing!) so had to turn her right up loud. On the way back, just as I passed an elderly gentleman walking his dog, she said 'pheeweee, lets walk'. He smiled at me like, 'oooh, lets!' I would have told him that it wasn't me it was my phone, but I couldn't breathe!


  1. Oh Fee, I know just how you feel ... I'm ten years older than you and struggling at 12 stone too ... I'm a stone lighter than a year ago, but that's not good is it ... over a year to lose it! Well done with the running.I know it gets to be a bit addictive and you've done the hard bit by starting! Well done you, I might give it a go too

    Love Claire xxx

  2. I loved this post (and your #keepingitreal series, note I was too ashamed to post any pictures of my pig stye! I think I could have won if the shame hadn't stopped me!!) Know exactly how you feel. I could do with losing a few stone but I can't bring myself to eat less (or get around to be more organised and plan healthier meals!) Would love to be able to run. My boobs get in the way. I used to have a super sports bra that I ordered online (it wasn't from "Let's bounce"!!!!) but from some expert big boobed sporty place. I don't think it fits me anymore! My main problem at the moment in my chin(s)hahaha!! Must look into the couch to 5k app, have heard lots of good about it!

  3. Love this post! I have just signed up with My Fitness Pal to count the calories and have been running for a few months (I have tried this before but always been scuppered by knee injuries). I am also at my heaviest ever. I'm not huge, I'm not really fat, I am just bigger than I've ever been and can't keep whining about it being my clothes' fault forever. It's put up or shut up time here. Anyway, I am using RunKeeper app which tracks how far, how fast, how many calories etc. There is social networking elements of both apps if you fancy adding me for moral support! Gayna will testify that I go all red faced and sweaty.
    Ah so it was you who started the keeping it real tag was it? God bless you, I was getting thoroughly disheartened by all those pictures of pretty dressers and spotless rooms.
    I came onto blogger just now to write my own post but now my head is all inside yours! Just to say I suppose, I totally empathised with loads of what you wrote.

    Gorgeous makes for Wilf too :) xx

  4. I am in almost the exact same position, although I confess I don't have the wondrous chest (mine are more a two golf balls in a sock scenario...). I am 43, with three kids (16, 11 & 3), I currently weigh my heaviest at 12ish stone. I am 5.6".

    Today I joined the gym. Yikes! But my local gym has changed. No more gym bitches clad in lycra, looking at you disdainfully. Think more middle aged/older people just getting on with keeping fit and active. It's all about high intensity short burst work out type stuff. It suits my life style and boredom threshold perfectly.

    Well done for going for it in the park. No-one will laugh. And if they do - behind your back or otherwise - just remember Venice.

    Best of luck!

    Leanne xx

  5. Oh well done you for the run! After having a complete panic straight after christmas, going to a wedding and having nothing that fitted (I tell you, who has a wedding straight after christmas?!), I was determined that for the next wedding in June I would be at least a stone lighter and not feel so lardy. I've not lost a thing, and actually put more on. Geez. I now am thinking I have about 5 weeks to shift it (as I sit and type with a big filled sandwich in one hand and a latte in the other!). I love food too. Bread is my downfall. I love it too much to give it up. Add a glass of wine with it and a bowl of olives and i'm well on my way! I need to go back to walking everywhere. I was 10lbs lighter this time last year and I was beginning to feel good. My mother in law then came to visit and it all goes out the window when she visits as she likes cakes and cream! Then the willpower faded! Maybe all the talk of fitness on IG might encourage me to get off my lardy bum and do something about it. I tell my husband I fancy being a lean steak and not a strung up pork joint! tee hee. Will enjoy seeing your progress my lovely xxxx

  6. Have you tried the two days a week fasting diet? It worked for my ex-fat man and may stop you getting arrested in the park. Eco Ethel XX

  7. Oh God I nearly fell on the floor with hysterics at your post! I have the same problem as you, big boobies. I can only wear one type of bra and they are so expensive!! As for running (bwahahaha), I couldn't possibly even consider it, even with the scaffolding on mine still do a merry bounce. I walk (that's acceptable) and as I have no car I have zero excuses, and walking is good for you (no straining). Now your boobs are standing to attention there will be no stopping you - run girl run. Best of luck. p.s. I'm checking out that website (love the name). ;D

  8. Well done with the running. My daughter used to have an app on her iPhone called Zombies, Run!. It's kind of a mission game thing where, during your run, you have to avoid the Zombies and every so often, a horrible zombie-esque breathing noise would start, getting louder and louder as the zombies chase you, thus encouraging you to run faster! I tried it once, almost had heart failure and never used it again lol. Keep up the good work and mind the Zombies :-)

  9. Oh Fee, I know this is meant to be a serious (well almost) post but you do make me laugh!! You also make me feel a little guilty too, as a bit more exercise would be good for me too. My daughters wedding is in 7 weeks and I haven't tried my dress on in a while, a bit scared to, to tell the truth. Good luck with it all!
    V xxx
    P.S. Must email you about wedding blocks!!!

  10. I'm delighted to read this Fee...go girl go. As a musculo skeletal specialist physiotherapist who has worked for 30 yrs in the NHS I have spent my working life trying to motivate people to exercise. Just dieting along is not going to work, it's a less fuel in more fuel out equation! The programme I recommend sounds similar to the one you are using and it works. Invest in good trainers...get a free gait analysis at a Runner's Need, if you have one locally and also a well fitted bra. The most important this is slow graded exercise.....well done you and if you need any other advice feel free to email me. x

  11. You go Fee! This is the same program I followed when I started running last September and I am still running 2-3 times a week, even through winter! (I also didn't make the first two minutes of that very first workout) ;-)

  12. You made my day with that post, particularly the old man bit at the end. We have to get mum the zombie app mentioned above, too funny. Super proud of you, in all my years I have never known you run so this marks a huge change and one I definitely believe will help coz not only does exercise allow yo to eat more (sorry is that not the point?) but generally makes u feel loads better. Looking forward to some training together soon,
    Love you xxx

  13. Such a brilliant post Fee, I read your blog but don't comment that often , but I felt compelled to comment this time. GOOD FOR YOU is what I say, go for it. I think when we get into our 40's (I am just 43) gravity takes a serious hold and just when we might have a little more cash to indulge on yummy food and wine, we have to be careful with how much our bodies can take without gaining weight. Exercise is good for you physically and psychologically, start off slow and work it up to 5K's and then who knows maybe a half marathon! :o) Look forward to seeing how things work out. Just keep your eyes on the prize of Venice..... xox Penny

  14. Sounds very familar, except i still have baby weight to loose! Although i have never really dieted, i too love food too much, i find it difficult to find the time to exercise, the app sounds really good and i hope you keep it up and get to your goal weight.

  15. I love the image of you inadvertently communicating with dogs as you jog around the park.
    You also reminded me of the story of my midwife being threatened with an air-rifle whilst lost on a school cross country run around Accrington 'run, fat girls, run' shouted the nutter brandishing the gun - she made my stitches hurt with laughting telling me that story! Running is dangerous!
    But, good for you for starting - that's the hardest part. Hope you keep it up!

  16. Good for you Fi! I'm 8" taller and at least as tubby, and I shall be watching for those one line postscript updates with interest. Problem is I have a dodgy Achilles tendon so can't run, but I'm determined to lose weight too. Perhaps we could cheer each other on :)

  17. Go for it!! I'm trying to reduce my weight by 2 stone. It's a slow process cos I love my food and can't exercise easily as I'm mobility impaired. It's interesting to read your post - like the mess thing - it's good to know that other people share the same battles in life! Good luck and run a bit for me too? If only it were that easy ;0) J9 x

  18. An inspiration! I am 5'7" but could give Jane Mansfield and Monroe a run for their money (and, I suspect, you) - have been going to the gym for a good few months and the weight is slowly dropping off and body slowly toning up. I have yet to nudge under 12 stone but feel ever closer with each workout - keep at it because (if nothing else) you will look and feel so much healthier! x

  19. Good for you, Fee! It will be good for your general health as well as weight loss and I think you are great to begin running now! And thank you for such a LOL funny girl!
    Hope the new regime goes well. Have a great weekend.
    Sending love. Helen x

  20. Ah Fi! Tres Bien....shhhh, don't tell but I'm a secret runner....with my Boodle, early mornings, just a mile round circuit but I love it. I was once able to run much further, I took t up at 39! I think this just might work for you, I especially love it as it's free!
    I am so happy for Kenzie....I felt such a great quiet joy at the news, thank goodness :D

    Sending Super Saturday type whoops to the woman and her puppies running in the park....-x-x-x-


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fee x