Tuesday, 22 October 2013

Another lesson learnt...

Well, after the joy of a successful fund raiser things went a little pear shaped around here.
We got the message from up North that Cleggy's wonderful Grandma had taken a turn for the worse and that we should think about making the journey to say our goodbyes.

But before we got there Cleggy's Dad died. Such a shock.
I share many things with Grandad, including my birthday! 
It's not always been the easiest of relationships. 
He's a man of too few words - I'm a girl of far too many. 
And our views on life haven't always been harmonious. 
But I think that our values were the same, and I have 
alot to thank him for. 
Not least that he was the BEST role model for my gorgeous husband in showing what it is to truly love a woman. 


Grandad Clegg was also a BRILLIANT musician. When I first met Cleggy at college his parents were in a jazz band - his Dad playing the saxophone and clarinet and his Mum singing. 
Some of my happiest memories of that time in our life were going to watch them play - just ace. Grandad was self taught, he could improvise like no one else...the blues were just in his blood.


 He didn't fill my life with words of wisdom (in fact the one bit of advice he did give me was both hilarious and inappropriate - hmmmm, can see that in my husband too!) but he made a great job of raising 2 wonderful men, both of whom I love very much. I'm immensely proud of how they have supported each other and their Mum through what has been an incredibly difficult few weeks.
 Meanwhile Great Grandma hung on in there - and is seeing out her last days in an amazing Marie Curie hospice in Edinburgh. It's been hard, but we've had some very special times with her and have said our goodbyes, with chance to tell her how much we all love her. 

And as with any difficult situation there are some good life lessons learnt. I had already decided I needed to take a year off from my business in order to reassess my work/life balance - and events have shown me that this was absolutely the right decision. I've also realised how much we need to see more of Cleggy's family and vow to stop the distance between us getting in the way. (love you guys)

We've also had to clear out Grandma's house - which has given me much to think about. I have too much 'stuff' and don't need any more. Life has already shown me that TIME is the most precious commodity...but I've had a sharp reminder and plan to make the most of knowing this. fee x

26 comments:

  1. Oh Fee, you darling girl. I am so sorry to read this. How is Cleggy bearing up? It sounds like it was most unexpected so quite the shock, I expect. Gosh that is very quick work to already be sorting out the house - most impressive. Sending you love and light Your faraway friend Jane x

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  2. You have had a rough time haven't you, so unfair after all your good work for Macmillan!
    Take care of yourselves!
    V xxx

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  3. What a sad and heart wrenching post dear Fee, life can be so shocking and harsh sometimes, please know that I am thinking of you and your family and sending all my love.
    It is lovely that you have said all the things that you needed to say to your great grandma x
    look after yourselves, love jooles xxx

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  4. Sorry for your loss Fee sweetheart xxx

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  5. gosh what a sad shock for you all. I am really sorry to hear this Fee. send all love and thoughts to Cleggy. He looks like his dad! xx x. x x

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  6. My thoughts are with you all at this difficult time. Thank you so much for the email you sent me with help and advice on making some memory blocks for my mum. They turned out beautifully and I'm sure my mum is going to love them so much. Kay xx

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  7. Oh Fee, such sadness. What a shock that must have been. I'm totally sure that Cleggy has the best person standing right beside him to get him through his grief at losing his father. It really is when these moments in life happen, that it dawns on you what is actually important in life and what really isn't. Big hugs to you, Cleggy and the boys..... Nessa xxxxxxxxxxx

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  8. What a touching and honest post. I'm sure he would have been very grateful to read your thoughts. You actually brought a tear to my eye. Warm thoughts to you and your family at what is such a tough time. B x

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  9. What a shock,Fee, so sorry for you all ... Grandad seemed like a real character and a very cool one a that ... Can't imagine what it must be like to have in-laws in a jazz band! Hope that you're all bearing up, and that Great Grandma is comfortable and happy ... what a lot yo al have to contend with, it's not fair! The time is right to re-evaluate your life and looks like you've made the right decision. My love to you all

    Claire xx

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  10. Oh gosh Fee, I'm so terribly sorry. My love and best wishes to you all. Look after your little selves.

    Heather x

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  11. What a beautiful tribute. It is so sad for you and yours - why is it that people who seem to do so much good in life seem to get hit with so much hard stuff. My accident and associated disability was a sharp shock for us to re-evaluate priorities. Time over money all the way - I love this book - Simple Abundance and it asks the question 'Why do we work so hard..'. Answer, 'To spend more time at home.' Hmmmm. Sending you best wishes for you and your family, J9 x

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  12. Family time is so precious. Hope you can make it happen so you have the time for you and yours x

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  13. I'm so sorry to read this Fee, life has a habit of coming up and biting at regular times. Sending you and your family my very best wishes and hugs at such a sad time for you all, especially to your dear Hb. May your FIL rest in peace xx

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  14. My thoughts are with you and your family. Lots of love xx

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  15. The sudden losses of family members and friends are, I think, so much harder to deal with than when someone has been ill. The memories of good times go a long way to helping to diminish the grief. My condolences to your family.
    xXx Helen

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  16. Oh Fee, difficult times indeed. Families are so central to our beings. Please enjoy yours. Much love to you all xxx

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  17. Sending you all big, warm hugs....you know lots of loving thoughts will be with you from so many that love you xx
    Sandi

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  18. What a beautiful post, such great photos and wonderful wisdom you have. I'm sorry for your loss and really admire what you've taken from the experience. xx

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  19. Life just draws you up short sometimes doesn't it. Beautiful photos and words of wisdom, though can't help pondering what the rude ones were...take care x

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  20. Adding more hugs to those already sent xxx

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  21. Dear Fee so sad to hear about the loss of your father in law. Such a shock for you all. Sending love and hugs.
    Helen x

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  22. Thinking of you all. Much love and big hugs x

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  23. Beautiful post, sending hugs xxx

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  24. Dear Fee
    A fitting tribute to your father in law. Your man is lucky to have your support to keep him going while supports his mum. A truly hideous time to get through. Love to you all

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  25. So sorry to read this Fee, I do hope you are all bearing up ok :-( Time and family are indeed the most important things and getting a work life balance as a Mum is very hard indeed. Take care of yourself x

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  26. Oh Fee, what an awful shock for you all. Sending you love and light. xxx

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fee x